* sam
* urban nomadic
* photos. bands. coffee. arts. designs. Latin. beach. jazz. vintage. music. sunflowers. fashion.

wish list

new iPod
new laptop
Have my own place
iPod Dock or Edifier
Have my hair dyed blue
Suzuki Swift
travel to Japan
go to Bora
more bags and shoes! :)
save and earn money
Have a merry Christmas this year

sand

andy best drummer
kaye anti-social
kei hang time
motie spongebob
nic mrs. johnny depp
tapel light my fire
ye X piracy X

mine kinky
panget si vincent

sea food

bamboo cambio chicosci itchyworms kjwan nARDA parokya ni edgar sandwich urban dub

bob marley no doubt the darkness

magic899 NU rock1075

puka shells

google yahoo friendster myspace photobucket hi5 blogger pinoy chords happy tree friends ultimate guitar

henna tattoo

jordi labanda carolina herrera stella mccartney dolce and gabbana kate spade marc jacobs betsey johnson

nostalgia

November 2008

October 2008

September 2008

August 2008

: wants to come
Hit Counter by-standers

Thursday, February 23, 2006
I want the last 2 years back!

Second Year high school had been fun. I mean FUN. Despite the Camcam-Sammie thing before (hehe! :D), many of my "firsts" happened in this school year. First love. First true best friend. First (and last) JnJ Competition. First true barkada. First gay best friend. :) First fun summer with my family (summer before I went to Second Year). First time to get 82 as my lowest grade in the card. First boyfriend (palpak relationship. It was my fault, too.) First to get a reputation as a musician. First time I opened my eyes about reality. First time I got hurt. First time I literally cried because I want something so badly but I can't have. :( First time I felt so stupid about a decision I've made!

First... First... First... So many things happened in this school year that I still carry now. I mean, it's still with me. It's still a part of me. However, things have changed. Some are favorable; however, some are not. I've made decisions then that I still regret now. I completely threw a tissue paper with gold inside into a trash bag. I didn't know there was gold inside. Haaaaay... Ignorance is never an excuse, I know, but can I have the last 2 years back? Please... Just to make things right. Just for me to stop wondering what might have been when I grow old. I am wishing now for a second chance because I know if I wouldn't ask for it, I might not really get it. At least I asked for it. The only problem now is I might be deciding incorrectly. The gods and goddesses might be just testing my faith. Could be. But still... Is it so wrong to ask or wish? Haaaaay... Wouldn't want to lose in this situation and might even end up all alone. It is a risk I have to take. Darn this is so hard! Harder than it is right now. Of course, it is. But still, in both ways, it's hard. Nothing's easy in this world. Nothing.

Haaaaaayy... Why do I have to see and hear it now? Why do I have to think of it NOW? It's not the perfect time. Ideas come in my mind left and right. I don't know what to do. This is so hard. HARD. I'm like this right now. What if I chose the other end. Would I be happier? Or would I end up all alone? This is where TIME comes in. It will be proven through the test of time. What would it be like?

GOD! Will I be able to continue this? Or choose the other end? If I did choose the other end, will I be happier? If I did continue this, will I be happier? God, which is which? Help me.

Damn you unfinished businesses! I have learned to solve things right then and there to avoid unfinished businesses but how come I haven't solved this one yet?

Haaaaayyy... Summer is on its way. Kita-kita na lang sa kung saan. Isang lugar lang naman ang alam kong makikita kita eh. Yun nga lang di ko pa alam kung andun ka. I want to hear your side of the story, and I want you to hear my side of the story. I just want to know if it's going to be a yes or a no. I just have to finish this business. Or it's not the time to finish it? God, give me answers. Or signs even. There's no way I can solve this without Your help. I need answers please... I need it badly.

Graduation is just around the corner. I'd be studying somewhere near. Katipunan will surely be my tambayan. Hope to get something out of it someday whether it's good or bad.

God, please give me answers.

Aloha,
sam


 9:42 PM
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